Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
