i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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