If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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