Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
