You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I supernannyed him into submission
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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