Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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