Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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