Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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