For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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