i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
