He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
