The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
