wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
