The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
