Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize