okay pat passed out under dana's car
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
