3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
