i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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