I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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