it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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