Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
