when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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