I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
as a side note pls kill me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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