We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
