I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
