But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
