$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
