Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
lets start a swedish sibling band together
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize