Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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