fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
