i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
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He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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