she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
