fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
