the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
