My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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