I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I am mentally ready for anal.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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