This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
