I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.