Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.