so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
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SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.