Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
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No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.