the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
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yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!