So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
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His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.