I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think my nap took me to another dimension
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............