I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.