I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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