If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I faked an abortion last night.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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