I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
