Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.