All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
