can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
