I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
