I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
