She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
