You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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