i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
