Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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