That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
