There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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