I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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