Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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