Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize