What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I did not marry a roomba.
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