How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I could make wine with my vomit
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better after having sex.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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