thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize