Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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